Overcoming Spiritual Disabilities
Abdullah ibn Amr must have simply scratched his head in complete and utter confusion. Three days he had spent with the man. Every morning, he would get up before him in order to anticipate him praying Qiyam, or at the very least, eating Suhoor. Throughout the day he would optimistically wait for the man to give extra sadaqa to the needy and destitute. Each night he would anticipate the man sitting in circles of knowledge or offering extra prayers before sleeping. And yet, for three straight days and three straight nights, Abdullah ibn Amr was left with more questions than answers. Was this not the same individual about whom the Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) had said, “He is a man of Paradise” just a few days before? Indeed he was, and that was the very reason that Abdullah ibn Amr decided to live with and observe the man as closely as he did. After all, if he was destined to be a man of Paradise, surely there was something extra he must be doing—extra prayers or recitation of Quran, extra fasting, extraordinary giving of sadaqa, etc. But after three days of close observation, Abdullah could find no trace of anything extra that the man was doing that would make him a “man of Paradise” as declared by the Messenger of God. Debilitated by his own curiosity, he confronted the man:
“Oh my Brother—For three days and nights I have observed you. From what I see, you do not fast any more than the other Companions, nor do you give any more in sadaqa. If you happen to get up at night, you don’t pray any tahajjud, although I may have heard you making some dhikr. But the Messenger of God said that you were a man of Paradise…how could this be, my brother? Is there something extra that you are doing which I have not observed?”
The man, who must have been scratching his own head in a manner similar to Abdullah, responded, “Honestly, I’m not sure, because I am as you’ve so accurately described me. But, there is one thing that I do every night of which you may not be aware. Every night, before I go to sleep, I forgive any person that may have wronged me during the day or night and I do not envy whatever Allah has given to others. I want to make sure that whenever I meet my Lord, I’m doing so with a heart that is free of rancor, jealousy, envy and hatred towards others.”
Abdullah ibn Amr stared, shocked by what he had just heard. With a mere statement, Abdullah’s entire reality changed. The days and nights of looking for extra ibaadah, of trying to find a means of Paradise for the man, the confusion that had settled into his heart all seemed to fade. He turned to his brother, his new friend and said, “That is the reason that you are a man of Paradise— that quality [of cleansing your heart and forgiving others] is one which is indeed difficult for us to achieve.”
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I remember when I first studied this particular story (albeit in a different narration) with one of my teachers many years ago. He impressed upon me the importance of cleansing my heart from enmity towards others, reminding me of the Qur’anic verse, “On that Day [of Judgment], neither wealth nor children will be of any benefit. The only thing that will benefit will be a sound heart (qalbun saleem).” I asked my teacher why it was so difficult to achieve a sound heart and his reply to me was simple yet profound: “Because we each have spiritual disabilities that we refuse to acknowledge and overcome.”
If you look up the word “disability” in Wikipedia, you will find, “Disability is the consequence of an impairment…” For most of us, when we think of disabilities, we think of physical or mental impairments, things which could potentially limit one’s quality of life. Most people don’t think of themselves as having spiritual disabilities—impairments which may limit one’s quality of After-life. And yet, these particular traits, characteristics and states of mind can not only affect one’s relationship with others in this world, but one’s ultimate relationship with God in the next world.
Abdullah ibn Amr was looking for the same thing that you and I probably would have looked for had we met the individual above—extra prayers, extra Quran, and extra charity. But what that particular narration teaches us is that one’s station in the Afterlife may have more to do with our ability to purify our hearts than it does with our ability to knock out some extra rakahs. The reality is that for many of us, facing the nuances of our souls—our innate greed, our anger, our jealously, our self-centeredness—is simply something we would rather not do. We want to brush it under the rug, and cover it up with extra outward sunnahs in the way we dress or the way we pray. But Allah is concerned with the effect of those prayers on the state of our hearts. Are we softer and kinder with our families? Do we forgive others when they offend us? Are we more concerned with what Allah thinks of us than what others think of us?
To overcome our innate spiritual disabilities, we have to first admit that we have a problem. Let me be more specific: I have to admit that I have a problem. We’re not talking about “collective ummah” problems here— no, we’re talking about our individual spiritual issues. For every person, this will be different. For some, it could be their anger towards people and life in general. For others, it could be their lack of concern for God’s Laws and Limits. Even Islamic scholars and teachers could be suffering from a vanity and arrogance so innate that only the inner voices in their heads really know what is going on. Regardless, these spiritual ailments afflict each and every one of us and our time should be spent in making sure that they don’t impair us from the quality of life we have in this World and the one we hope to have in the Next World.
So, how do we begin to address these spiritual disabilities? We have to have the resolve to look deep within our own souls and be honest with ourselves. For me, personally, Shaykh Hamza Yusuf’s book, Purification of the Heart, has done an incredible job in helping me identify my own personal vices. The book, based off of a poem by Imam Mawlud, identifies many of the spiritual diseases that the Pious Predecessors have identified over centuries of scholarship: Love of Leadership, Love of this World, Miserliness, Hatred, Negative Thoughts, Envy, Vanity, and Anger, just to name a few. Many of the examples that are provided can hit close to home. It also identifies the cures for these ailments, so that the reader can start on their own individual journeys to overcoming their personal, spiritual disabilities.
To address our spiritual maladies requires courage—real courage—and dedication. The Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, once reminded his Companions that “The strong man is not the one who defeats his opponent by wrestling, but it is he who controls himself at the time of anger.” The life-long struggle to overcome our spiritual disabilities begins with self-reflection and self-honesty. May Allah cleanse our hearts, help us forgive others and grant us Paradise like the companion of Abdullah ibn Amr.