Hala Amer

I have three young boys whom I love dearly —all loud, all convinced they are the center of the universe, and all wanting to run around naked if I let them. I never really thought much about modesty as it related to raising children until I had them, and I have come to realize how tightly interwoven it is with other virtues like honesty and kindness that we place in such high regard. I doubt anyone would argue that modesty is a fundamental aspect of being Muslim. Yet, surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) our focus is almost always on the outward manifestation of modesty, especially as it applies to women. Somehow, we've taken something beautiful, deep and multi-dimensional and made it flat and superficial. Modesty is (or should be) gender neutral and any talk of modesty, therefore, must begin with the heart, not the hemline. At the heart’s core lie virtues of kindness, respect and love for our fellow man.

As someone who has helped collect and sort donated items in the past, and know many who do this on a regular basis, I’ve come across my fair share of surprises —the amazingly generous, the bad, and the ugly. The question becomes, given the importance of charity amongst Muslims and the status of sadaqa, why are these “questionable” items as common an issue as they are, and why has it become acceptable “collateral damage” that is expected when collecting for any cause?